My friend Rich was head over heels for this girl Jen. Rich’s feelings towards Jen was understandable, she was beautiful, smart, personable, articulate and had a great job. Jen’s ambition wouldn’t allow her to become complacent, she always wanted more. To Rich’s credit he was hard working and shared some of the same characteristics as Jen, but Rich wanted a more simple life. He was content with a wife, kids and a house. They got along great, but I knew that it was only a matter of time before it would all end. Jen was career and goal oriented and never satisfied. She was obsessed with her future at her job and beyond. In short Rich fit in perfectly where her life was at the moment but not in the long term. I noticed she would often try to avoid Rich’s conversations about marriage, children and long-term commitment. You could tell that Jen viewed those things as distractions and obstacles preventing her from achieving her goals. She saw her life a certain way and Rich saw their life another way. Jen thought about HER life and Rich was thinking about their life. What Rich thought was love was really irrational exuberance.


Before entering into a relationship you should do a serious and thorough self-analysis. You may not be ready for relationship. You might be at a point in your life where it’s all about you and your goals, and a relationship will only slow you down. A relationship can be like raising a child. You have to dedicate time and make sacrifices. It can no longer only be about you. Ask yourself are you even a relationship type of person? Some peole don’t have enough discipline to be with one person. Having to give up the power to choose( and there’s a lot of beautiful people out there) and be with just one person might be too much for one person. Then there’s the fact that you might choose to be with the wrong person.Even though time is only wasted if you didn’t learn anything. For some people the opportunity cost that comes from choosing the wrong person is too great so they just choose to stay single. That’s why self-analysis is needed. Self- analysis means knowing who you are as well and loving and understanding that person, flaws and all. A healthy relationship starts from within and radiates outward.